The Struggling Eases

If you have been following along with my ramblings, you can tell that over the last couple of weeks I had been seriously reconsidering my position on President Donald Trump. Yesterday was another hard hitter for Trump and honestly, I am okay with it. Do I like feeling wrong? No. Do I owe people I inadvertently misled an apology? Yes.

I lived far too long under the conservative umbrella to really get a base understanding of what an objective viewpoint truly is. I tend to think of this as more of a political awakening for myself and life just seems so much simpler now. I am no longer racking my brain every day on figuring out how the swamp is going to be drained because it is becoming increasingly evident that it was projection.

Most of the information we receive is incomplete. It comes down to trying to figure out who is lying. Take this whistleblower case for example. We have had the Democrats blame Trump and Giuliani, while Trump’s camp has blamed everyone and their mother. I wouldn’t be surprised if the transcribers of the phone call are the next to be thrown under the bus. What is funny though is that the State Department recently threw Rudy under the bus by saying that his comments regarding Ukraine belong to himself.

I don’t know what really sucked me into Trump. Perhaps my immaturity plus the natural conservative bias I had growing up? I wasn’t a fan of the “Grab them by the P****” remark, but I had already been so bogged down mentally by conspiracy theories, his mantra lined up with my current line of thinking. Before Trump, I basically hated politics. Obama’s years I never paid attention so every scandal that he apparently had, I just parroted because he had to be dirty. He was a democrat.

Just blind notions like that go against the fundamental principal of America which is innocent until proven guilty. My quest for justice was pretty much not American. I unfortunately had to subscribed to Pizzagate in the beginning based on cherry picked Podesta emails and it was only until I really started looking at it did I realize it was baseless. As I became more politically cognitive, I saw how right wing conspiracy theories flourished I started applying that to future potential scandals and that eventually led me to my mindset of today.

Even with challenging, I discover so much news that was from two years ago that I missed. Getting involved in Spygate in August 2018 had caused me to miss all of the news beforehand. The only things mentally imprinted were tweets from conspiracy theorists on Twitter and 4Chan. While I should be embarrassed, it happened and I look at this as a sign of growth for myself. Sometimes when your worldview isn’t matching reality, you can think that everyone else is wrong or research opposing points and see if maybe you are missing something exculpatory. In this case, I had a choice, blind loyalty or watch the world pass me by.

Even with some of my blog posts, I am seeing the cognitive dissonance with what I want vs what I politically support. Artificial intelligence and nuclear are two very important topics that I believe will be relevant for the future. In the meantime, the fracking industry has completely priced out nuclear energy and is forcing the existing nuclear power plants to close down. It is hard to build new ones based on all the regulations and it is such a specialty item that the projects tend to go way over budget.

The thing that sucks though is that the 20 nuclear power plants in the United States supply 20% of the energy. Theoretically you would only need to build 80 more and you will get 100% of the US’s energy needs. We would be energy independent and it would weaken countries who abuse human rights as they tend to be oil producing countries. Also, it is an extremely clean form of energy and while people may think that climate change is a joke, I don’t see how anyone could be against clean air and water. Why constantly breathe in pollution from emissions?

Anyway, I think we are in the midst of a political revolution where the people have awakened from their slumbers and are having the politicians who represent them, actually represent them. Among people my age, there is way more political activism and this will continue to grow. There will be haters, like the people who are making fun of Greta Thunberg just because they don’t agree with her politically. This will get phased out as time and the world moves on without them. I know I will.

For me though, I feel like I am in an interesting position. I understand the way the right thinks and I am now understanding the way the left thinks. It is a pretty cool spot to be in, but I am just happy I was able to escape the deepest depths of an echo chamber. I have been thinking about becoming more politically involved and start actually influencing change on a more grassroots level. I was also thinking of maybe writing a book sharing my journey through the hate filled conspiracy theory sites to the person I am today.

I can only hope that my experience helps other similarly confused people start to rationalize what is going on. It isn’t your fault either. The only time you can blame yourself is when you parrot information you know is wrong in order to satisfy a political agenda. Just the fact that it is an agenda is enough to show that it is wrong.